It’s three days until Valentines day. You’re single, wallowing in self pity and deeply trying to avoid re-blogging depressive Tumblr posts at all costs.
If, like me, your partner has suddenly turned around and decided he doesn’t love you like he used to (yes, a week before the 14th), you’re probably dealing with a number of problems right now.
Your first few problems being: How the fuck will I cope without him? Will I ever listen to Arctic Monkeys again without drowning in tears? Will my next boyfriend know how I like my tea?
Your second problem being: Where can I get a t-shirt that will make everyone think I’m as happy and independent as Beyonce? Look no further.
It’s odd that all over-sized t-shirts are known as ‘boyfriend tee’s’. I’d rather just refer to them as ‘FUCK OFF tee’s’.
-ASOS. Minkpink “Ditched the Boyfriend” Tee Dress £30
The first fuck off tee from online retailer ASOS bares the print: ‘DITCHED THE BOYFRIEND KEPT THE T-SHIRT’. If you would like to pretend he is the one who has been so-called ditched, left to cry alone at night to Alex Turners acoustic edition of ‘I wanna be yours’, this t-shirt dress from girls-only label Minkpink is perfect for your slouchy-single-self. Wear with ripped black skinny jeans for the over-sized effect.
-TOPSHOP. Dump Him Tee by Illustrated People £30
This American style tight-fit tee from Topshop ought to get the message out there to all females who are becoming aware their partner has lost interest. Get in there first girls and DUMP HIM. Hey, maybe even show up to your valentines date wearing this. Wear with light denim mom jeans and platform sneakers for a 70s Suki Waterhouse look.
The next fuck off t-shirt sends a gentle reminder in block capitals: ‘DON’T TEXT YOUR EX’. Whilst your heart may skip a beat every time you receive a text vibration only to find out it’s your mum reminding you how much she loves you, this pyjama set from ASOS will remind you what not to do, even in your sleep.
-ASOS. Adolescent Clothing Boyfriend T-Shirt with I Hate You Heart Valentine Print £18
As you can see, ASOS are in full swing this season with heartbreak tee’s. From new brand Adolescent Clothing, comes a t shirt made exclusively for ASOS. Enclosed within a pink heart screams the words ‘I HATE YOU’ which can either mean two things: I love the fact I hate you or I hate the fact I still love you. Either way, the word hate gets my approval.